Fake Christmas

By Douglas DoNascimento

Well, it’s that time of year,

When we deck the halls with cheer,

With plastic mistletoes,

And a Santa in the snow.

 

Our tree is just wrong,

The snow is Styrofoam,

With lights that never shine,

But some believe it’s divine.

 

It’s the fake Christmas, oh what a sight,

Celebrating Christ on the wrong night,

With fake ornaments that glitter bright,

It’s the wrong birth day, is that alright?

 

Our presents are not for HIM,

Commercializing is just mean,

We sing those carols wrong,

But still, we hum along.

 

The nativity’s a mess,

With action figures, I confess,

Ornament of Darth Vader,

Right next to an alligator. (Oh My!)

 

It’s the fake Christmas, oh what a sight,

Celebrating Christ on the wrong night,

With fake ornaments that glitter bright,

It’s the wrong birth day, is that alright?

 

The calendar’s all mixed,

It’s December 25th,

We’re roasting marshmallows,

While wearing tacky apparel.

 

The reindeer’s on the roof,

But he’s really just aloof,

A cardboard cutout there,

With a sign that reads “HoHoHo!”

 

It’s the fake Christmas, oh what a sight,

Celebrating Christ on the wrong night,

With fake ornaments that glitter bright,

It’s the wrong birth day, is that alright?

 

So let’s toast to our folly,

With a glass of eggnog holly,

We may have got it wrong,

But we still are singing along.

 

It’s the fake Christmas, the pagan delight,

With our pagan tree and fake snow white,

We’re having fun, and that’s the light,

Merry wrong birthday to Jesus, and to all a goodnight!